Mixed Week

 Once again, todays blog entry is nothing to do with running or being an idle sod - just me making a note of what's going on in my life at the moment and getting my worries down on paper.

Bit of a mixed week for me health wise.

If you read my previous posting you'll know that I've been under investigation for some health problems. Not that I'm having any symptoms - but a routine test threw up some queries which are currently being looked into.  I did think my ultrasound scan had given me the all clear (the technician who was conducting the test reassured me that there was nothing to worry about and no need to rush back to my doctors for the results, which showed I have a fibroid and nothing more sinister than that.)

Imagine my shock when I got a letter off my doctor last Friday (it ALWAYS happens on a Friday!) telling me I had a cyst on my left (one and only) ovary which I'm assured doesn't look like it's anything to worry about but inviting me to get a blood test done just to be sure. A phone call to the surgery secured me an appointment with the nurse a week today!   Can you believe it - such an important test and I can't get in to see the nurse for over a week!   Luckily I popped in to plead my case yesterday and managed to get slotted into a cancellation so I had a blood test taken yesterday.  This test is to check for markers for ovarian cancer.  I should get the results before the weekend.  To say I'm shit scared is probably the under-statement of the year!   I'm struggling to eat, struggling to sleep, struggling to function in any normal manner.   The little old ladies I work for are moaning about their aches and pains - and I'm thinking "shut the £uc% up - don't you know I have more important worries right now!"

Of course, since being told about the cyst I'm imagining all sorts of things now and feeling all sorts of twinges on my left side. I keep telling myself that the twinge I'm getting is actually a muscle strain in my back - especially as I've had so many back problems recently. My sensible head says I'll be fine.  The nagging doubt in my head tells me I might have cancer and how will I deal with that.

To start with I've started to get some of those jobs done that I've been putting off for several years - getting  home video's onto dvd for a start - with Neil will certainly never be able to do.   Admitting that on screen I sort of feel that it's a rather morbid thing to do!  But I'm being honest.


On to some good news now - last night my chiropractor gave me the go-ahead to start doing a very small amount of running on my treadmill - we're talking a mile at most but it's a start!  :)  Normally I'd be thrilled to bits with that news... but you will forgive me if right now I've got more pressing matters on my mind...